Well, an entire year lay ahead of us and there are so many new chances and new ways to renew and enrich our lives. Today’s poem focuses on love and renewing, which I think kind of go hand in hand. My main plan for 2015 is to lose 20 pounds. My Doctor said I should lose 60 but I have been trying to lose for some time and I only go up or down a couple of pounds. I figure 20 is a much more realistic goal. In high school I was 145 and incredibly fit, I ran for miles every day and played all kinds of sports, worked out and had a physically intensive job. Now I still work out, but I seem to be locked into a weight of 250 pounds and it feels awful to a person who once was attractive and slim. When I was younger, I was in a circle of friends that smoked and drank and didn’t play sports. Some of my friends were nerdy and some even hated jocks, and for a while I felt the same way. I was a bit of a peacenik for a while and I had the mistaken assumption that people only worked out and played sports to do violence to each other. I learned many more reasons later, the two that especially stood out for me were the healthy feeling a person gets from pushing themselves to their limits, and the second was simply that I realized that athletic people have better sex, which was a major incentive to a teenager. I never did have sex until I was nearly 21, and I was so glad I waited until I met someone I truly cared about, but ever since I was 17 I have wanted to keep myself fit physically and mentally. I learned some interesting information about meditation, that it actually not only helps a person’s focus, but it also actually helps your brain regenerate old cells. I am not 100% up to speed on the topic, but I want to research this more and I will write more about it then.
A couple of really great things have happened recently, one being that my niece came to Edmonton with my sister, another was that I had a message sent to me from a young woman I used to care very much about that she is alive and doing well. Christmas was amazing this year, I got some incredibly thoughtful gifts and had a chance to give to some people in my family things they seemed to appreciate.
As you may know from the website name, I am and Edmonton writer from Alberta, Canada and we have had a terrible tragedy happen. A case of domestic violence in the extreme has lead to the biggest mass murder in Edmonton’s history, 9 people dead, two of them children. I feel a bit in shock that this happened, it wasn’t even in an economically depressed part of town like the one I live in where there is a high crime rate, it happened in some of our nicest suburbs. It kind of makes me think back to when I grew up and the cliques that I heard of, young people who sold cocaine and did a lot of break and enter crimes. I don’t know personally how I ever stayed out of jail myself. As some may have read in my book, “Through The Withering Storm” (look up the link on my ‘books’ page) when I was younger I committed an assault in school and was arrested and assaulted the police officers that arrested me, but because of my mental illness I was never charged. The closest I got to being in serious trouble was one time when I was 18 my Dad had me arrested for trespassing and I was taken to the RCMP detachment in St.Albert. The only way I avoided being charged was by telling the policeman that if my Dad wanted to lay charges on me I would pursue charges of assault and child abuse and more on him and I was told quickly that I was free to go. It was a really bad experience, I had to go and stay in a shelter and then a welfare hotel and soon after I ended up hitch-hiking to the West Coast. I don’t have many regrets though, but I have a feeling that if I had ever been sent to jail I would have a lot of them. Anyhow, as the day and time suggests, this is a much better time to be thankful for the new chances and opportunities the year 2015 has for us than to worry about things in the past no one can control. Happy New Year everyone! Please feel free to post feedback on anything you find here. As usual, my poem for the day is below the following photo. The first person who can message me at viking3082000@yahoo.com as to where “Maggie” is from wins a free poetry book which I will sign and mail right to your door. Contest closes in one week.
Maggie
Janine when I first looked at you
I thought perhaps it wasn’t true
No one could be so radiant and beautiful
You in your flying jacket, all leather and wool
Your soft, white skin and raven black hair
Made me stop and gawk and stare
At first I thought you and I would never meet
But somehow you were so lovely kind and sweet
You took a chance and walked up to where I sat
And I wanted to pounce on you like a feral cat
That first time we met and talked far into the night
I went home electrified with pure delight
I got your number, held it close to my heart
All life before was gone, you were my fresh start
Later something stole the love we had
Left me lonely, warped and sad
Inspiration hid from me then for quite a time
After I learned you were no longer mine
In two rhyming lines I now call to you
It’s not too late to start anew
I swear one day these words will pay the bills
And that in time there will again be thrills
Forty-three life’s not over yet
We were a perfect matching set
You with your little plane and me with my pen
Janine I need you back again
Kiss me deeply now as the midnight bell rings
Imagine all the joy the New Year will bring
This new dawn will bring love and hope
I need your love to survive, to cope
My darling please let me dedicate to you
The 15th millennium year by all that’s good and true
Come home with me now and never leave
Grant this two time loser one last reprieve
Leif Gregersen
January 1, 2015
Mental Health coping skills blog by leif gregersen 