As I look out at a city full of new things: new cars, new transport trucks, shiny new buildings reaching for the heavens, sometimes I wonder what all this will be like in 100 years. Surprisingly, a lot of it depends on one simple thing, the price and value of oil. If no drastic new technologies take over (even electric cars are powered by energy made from burning coal) there will be thick, greasy smog over my beloved Edmonton. But then if oil takes a downturn and mankind gets over its addiction addiction to fossil fuels, the city would likely be a much poorer one, many of the buildings from this picture would be old, worn, dilapidated. Without oil, the Alberta economy would be in trouble. I feel bad about it, but sometimes when I wonder about the future, I don’t let it bother me or take too much of my time because I am fairly certain I won’t be alive in 100 years, and I don’t have any children. This philosophy can easily be related to mental illness.
Where will my mental health be 20 years from now then? Sometimes I don’t think I want to live even 20 more years, because in that time I may be put on another medication, say one for my heart or as a blood thinner that makes it impossible for my mental health medication to work and I really don’t want to have to go to a hospital, or a care home for the mentally ill.
One thing I can say about the future is that it promises a lot of things, even to those who take psychiatric medications. 32 years ago, when I was first locked in a psychiatric ward and forced to take medications, the state of medication and the conditions in psychiatric hospitals was much worse than it is now. I recall frequent violent acts committed against me while I was in the secure ward and there was no redress, no one to tell that you just had a former wrestler slam your head into a concrete floor. That is changing, at least in this part of the world. I can also say that medications have improved.
As all things have their exceptions, I should mention that two years ago I was put on a medication that was supposed to work better for me and improve my mental health and it actually made me very ill, experiencing psychosis. For a while I was determined that I had the right to sue, but I was later told that it is very difficult to sue a doctor or a hospital in Canada. And suing the pharmaceutical company would have been an exercise in futility. So what I did was write a book about it, which I titled, “Alert and Oriented x3” I started the book out with statements from family members and a close friend, then put in a glossary of psychiatric terms, essays, poetry I wrote in and out of the hospital, commentaries on my work as it appears, and even my actual clinical notes from my doctors and nurses. Anyone reading this can get a free copy by clicking on the photo to the right of this blog (the Tower Bridge photo) which will take you to the page where you can download and share a free PDF copy. Anyone who wants it in paperback can get it from me or from http://www.amazon.ca The big difference if you get it from me will be that you are supporting my efforts to reduce stigma and increase awareness surrounding mental illness.
Sorry, I have gone way off track. What I wanted to write about was ageing and mental illness. Some people say that those who have schizophrenia age well, and I have to say that at 50, I don’t look much different than I did at 35. But it has been a difficult past few years and it is starting to show. I was told that memory loss could be a side effect of taking sleeping pills, and that is the one thing that bothers me the most. The amazing thing though is that a person’s mind and body are so adaptable. I should mention here that I have adjusted to many of the side effects of the medications I take and it has allowed me to live a nearly normal life. Even my memory loss is becoming less of a problem as I continue to ‘work out’ my brain with things like Sudoko puzzles and memorizing my favourite poems. I also have been using lists and my calendar a lot so I don’t forget about appointments and such.
Some people are of the belief that mental illnesses like schizophrenia and bipolar will peter out as they get older, but sadly from my research it doesn’t seem this is the case. What does seem to be the case is that people with these illnesses take poor care of themselves, and by the time they reach old age, there is so much wrong with them that mental health is the least of their worries. Personally I don’t want this to happen. I keep myself fit, mostly with walking and swimming, keep my brain active and make regular visits to an MD. One of the funny truths of the situation I refer to is that as we age, we are more likely to experience poor health if we aren’t married. There is so much to be said for companionship and love, and sharing your life with someone. I am not married, but I have female friends in my life who do care, and one of them, who was my first ever girlfriend some 30 years ago is still one of my best friends.
Well, I hope some of this rambling helps someone out there. For those of you who were awesome enough to follow my blog, expect more entries soon. I have decided that blogging is one of the few joys I have in my life that has the potential to help others. So write, comment, follow. I would love to hear feedback about my book. Connect with me any time at viking3082000@yahoo.com
Mental Health coping skills blog by leif gregersen 